DuBoises Don't Bowl: Wisdom From My Parents

Over the years, my quirky parents have imparted some equally quirky pearls of wisdom to my brother and me that I’ve taken to heart as an adult. I am grateful for this advice, and I strive to put the following gems, and the related lessons learned, into practice as a writer and artist.

DUBOISES DON'T BOWL

When I was a kid, in the early 1980s, my parents bought a TRS-80 III personal computer from Radio Shack – one of the early mass marketed home computers. (It was super cool – it had a whopping 16KB of memory - yes, kilobytes, not megabytes - and sported a separate cassette tape drive for data storage.) Back then, we were the only kids on the block with a computer. In the years to come, as technology improved, my family maintained their early–adopter status, investing in several models of IBM PCs, along with some sweet dot-matrix printers, dial-up modems, and AOL subscriptions.

My brother using the TRS-80 III

One evening at dinner, my parents were trying to justify the amount of money they spent every year on computer gear. Other families didn’t shell out that kind of money on personal computing. But, then other families did things that we didn’t do. For example, we didn’t go bowling. Some families bowled all the time. Not us. Bam! Problem solved.

Since that day, the family joke is that we aren’t allowed to bowl: “DuBoises don’t bowl.” But it’s okay, because the novelty of typing on a PC (and the convenience of the “backspace” key) encouraged me to write countless stories and plays – I started my first novel (now, sadly lost to the ages) in sixth grade on our IBM PC 286. Oh, and my brother has grown up into a badass, big deal Silicon Valley software engineer. I don’t think bowling would have gotten us this far.

Lesson Learned: You can’t do it all. You have to prioritize and decide what you want to focus your limited time/energy/money on. If you don’t, you won’t get very far with anything.

YOU GOTTA MAKE A PATH

One evening when I was around six years old, my dad came into our room to read my brother and me a story before bed. Toys, tons of Lego, doll clothes, crayons, and pretty much everything we possessed, blanketed the floor. My dad started pushing the clutter aside with his foot, until there was a path of clear carpet from each of our beds to the door. He said, “What if you have to get up in the night; you’ll trip on all this stuff.” Then he sighed and added, “You at least gotta make a path.”

Lesson Learned: Even if you can’t do all of a task right now, start by making a plan. The idea of cleaning up all those toys was incredibly daunting, so my brother and I just let the chaos take over. But by making a path, we could at least function. In the morning, we were able to move around the room and start to picking away at the mess. Now, whenever I feel overwhelmed by a writing project, I just think “you gotta make a path” and I start an outline. Once I’ve begun, even if it’s just a small step, it’s somehow a lot easier to keep going and get the job done.

ALL DIETS WORK, IF YOU ACTUALLY FOLLOW THEM 

My whole family is prone to weight gain. Between the four of us, we’ve tried a wide variety of diet plans (Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, Atkins, Low fat, low carb, juicing, Slim Fast, endless calorie counting, you name it) and exercise routines (everything from Jane Fonda records and a stationary bike in the basement to Crossfit and TRX.) But, there’s no magic formula. My mom is right when she says it’s not that one diet is significantly better than another. I ‘ve found that no matter what plan I follow, I only lose weight when I really commit to sticking with a diet or exercise plan and simply do the work.

Lesson Learned: Once you have a plan (a path through the toys), you need to follow through in order to achieve your goals. I’ve found that discipline in my writing schedule -—carving out specific times to work and sticking to it even if I don’t feel like it —is key to really getting anywhere.

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO'S BETTER THAN YOU AT SOMETHING

I can’t remember why – perhaps someone in my class had gotten a higher grade or someone in ballet was more graceful than me – but when I was about 8 years old I came home one day angry and frustrated. I wanted to be the best. In a kind, patient voice my dad said, “I’m sorry but you can’t ever be ‘the best’ at something. There will always be someone, somewhere in the world, who’s better than you at that thing.” That statement didn’t really make me feel better at first.

Then he added, “Just do the best you can. That’s all anyone can do.”  I started to see what he was trying to say, and I guess I got over whatever I was upset about, considering now I can’t remember what it was.

Lesson Learned:  Perfect doesn’t exist. Work hard, do the best you can, always strive to grow and change, but don’t expect to ever be “the best.” And don’t let jealousy of those who seem more successful or accomplished than you color your self-confidence. Instead, befriend these wunderkinds and try to learn something.

DON'T FORGET TO HAVE FUN

This is what my mother says to me whenever I’m about to sing on stage, or if I’m working on a tough bit of writing. She says it to my dad when he heads out to play volleyball or tennis. We love doing these things – that’s why we do them – but sometimes we get caught up in worry about our performance and find ourselves floundering in stress and self-doubt. And we forget that the main reason we write, or sing, or play games is to have fun.

Lesson Learned: Don’t let worry and stress get in the way of your happiness as you do the things you love. Remember to enjoy the ride.

My parents dressed as The Howells from "Gilligan's Island"
(I told you they were quirky.)

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow: Farewell to My Old Stomping Grounds

 

 

If you’ve lived in New York for two decades, like me, you get used to neighborhoods changing, and businesses opening and closing. While there are some good changes, um, hello, Shake Shack, more often than not, beloved restaurants, record stores, and even gritty night clubs turn into the inevitable—  yet another Duane Reade.

So, you’d think I’d be immune to these closings, and I was, that is until Shakespeare and Company, a small independent book chain, announced they were closing their Greenwich Village store. While I’m saddened every time a book store closes, in this case, sad doesn’t cover it.

You see, in 1997, fresh out of college, with library and book store experience already under my very nerdy belt, I landed a job at Shakespeare and Co. In the matter of a few months I had recommended books to Susan Sarandon, read my weight in literary fiction, become a manager, perfected the art of bar hopping in the East Village, and met my now husband (also a manager there).

When I left the store a year and a half later to pursue a career in publishing, I knew that I would always look back fondly at those days of fumbling through young adulthood surrounded by books.  In fact, when my husband and I got married, 8 years later, we even had a Shakespearean themed wedding, with former co-workers and one of the owners of the store in attendance.

I understand that the rent was too high and that it’s a very tough business with a lot of overhead and competition from online retailers, and big box stores. It’s especially tough in New York, as the NY Times recently reported.

So what can we do to help save other independent bookstores across the country? If you live near one, you can shop there. It’s worth the few extra dollars to shop local. Even if they don’t have a huge stock, many independents are happy to special order books. We can go hear authors speak at independent stores and purchase books to be signed.  In some cases you can even host book clubs there, birthday parties, or even weddings.

If you don’t live close to an independent store, you can still order online from some. Sherman Alexie’s awesome site, Indie bound is a great resource for all things related to independent book stores.

Let’s fight the good fight so more stores can stay open even in this economic climate, because after all, no one moves into a neighborhood because of the charming Duane Reade.

Photo: Shakespeare and Company in the Village.

 

Drop everything and read this: THE BROKENHEARTED by Amelia Kahaney

If you’re a nerd girl like me, there’s been a Buffy-sized hole in your heart ever since the show went off the air in 2003. Sure, there are Buffy comics, reruns, and fanfic, but if they don't do it for you, I’m happy to report that I recently read a book which reminded me of the iconic show in a really, really good way. 

At its heart, Buffy was the story of a teenage girl who became an unlikely hero, a cheerleader thrust into a dangerous landscape who thrives once given the responsibility of protecting the world. Yes, Buffy kicked butt as the Chosen One, but to my mind, it was in the vulnerable moments that the character and writing shined.  

Writing a young female superhero who is equal parts flawed and powerful was pretty groundbreaking then. Yet, here we are, several years later and I haven’t seen many writers able to pull off the tension of balancing normal teenage heartbreaks and super powers in such a nuanced way. 

Until now that is. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that THE BROKENHEARTED by Amelia Kahaney  is just what Dr. Whedon ordered.  

Fast paced and excellently plotted, THE BROKENHEARTED is the story of Anthem Fleet, a wealthy, pampered ballerina whose life is turned upside down when she goes to a seedy party in the wrong part of town. There she meets Gavin, a mysterious artist, and is immediately drawn into his gritty world.  

Anthem and Gavin both live in Bedlam, a Gotham-like city of vast economic disparity. Echoes of Occupy Wall Street and other very timely visceral scenes create a vivid and bleak world of corruption, poverty, and indifference. 

What starts off like a Romeo and Juliet story, soon takes a much darker turn. Anthem escapes her penthouse cocoon to be with Gavin, but things go horribly awry after their first and only night together. Gavin’s kidnapped and Anthem falls to her death in a tragic accident. But the starcrossed lovers' story isn't over then. Not even close. Anthem wakes up in an underground medical lab, with a bionic heart ticking in her chest and a whole lot of super hero skills including strength and speed. Anthem sets out to save Gavin, exact revenge, and uncover the truth about the underbelly of Bedlam. She even finds time to go to ballet practice.

And that’s just the beginning of the book. Anthem’s choices and conflicts are complex and messy, and very readable. I highly recommend this book, especially because I want someone to chat about the plot twists with me. I would also be remiss not to mention that a sequel will be out in the fall.

Book cover image by Harper Teen.

Guest Post by Aimee Agresti

 

 

Today’s guest post is by the lovely and talented Aimee Agresti, author of the Gilded Wings series. I adore her writing for many reasons, but one thing that really stands out is her fantastic use of settings. So I asked her to share a little about her inspiration and how she makes each city come alive.

I’ll never forget running wild through the streets of New York with Holden Caulfield when I was in high school. I was 14 when I first read THE CATCHER IN THE RYE and I fell as madly in love with that sweet troubled boy as I did with his thrilling city. I’m a sucker for a book that treats the setting as a living, breathing character, so before I wrote a word of ILLUMINATE—the first in my Gilded Wings trilogy about a teen angel earning her wings—I already knew where all three books would take place. And I knew that each volume needed its own perfect place.

In ILLUMINATE, it’s Chicago. I went to college there and had always been fascinated by the prohibition era, Capone, and those fabulous tunnels that ran beneath the city connecting the speakeasies. I loved that alluring mix of mystery, danger, secrecy and I wanted that feeling woven through my book. So I resurrected Capone’s old hangout, the Lexington Hotel, and made it into a glamorous modern-day hotspot. I placed my teen angel, Haven, there as an intern, staffed the place with gorgeous, soul-stealing demons hellbent on converting her to the dark side and then I let the fun begin. Those tunnels under the hotel? Here they lead to hell. Mwah-ha-ha!

But for the sequel, INFATUATE, I had to kick things up a notch. The stakes are higher, the action more intense, the demons more vicious, even my angels are just a little out of control this time. To reflect that undercurrent of delicious chaos, I needed a vibrant, freewheeling city of beauty and madness. I needed…New Orleans! There’s no better place to get into trouble than the Big Easy. Where else could my characters live next door to a real haunted house (here Royal Street’s Lalaurie Mansion is haunted by one of my devils!), be chased through a cemetery as eerily gorgeous as the French Quarter's Saint Louis #1, dabble in voodoo, wrestle alligators, drive steamboats, and see their angels-vs-demons showdown play out amid Mardi Gras?

So where do you go from there? Well, I like to think Book Three’s locale is all of that and more--it has to be! I’m not dishing yet (sorry!), but I promise it’s a place you’ll enjoy visiting, even if it will be populated with demons when you get there. Stay tuned!

Aimee Agresti is the author of the Gilded Wings Novels, Illuminate and Infatuate. She is also an entertainment journalist whose work has appeared in People, the Washington Post, Mademoiselle, and the New York Observer. As a staff writer for Us Weekly magazine, she interviewed many celebrities and penned the magazine’s coffee table book Inside Hollywood. She lives in Washington, D.C. Visit her website at www.aimeeagresti.com.

Reading and Writing Resolutions

This year, rather than the usual vows (“I will go to the gym twice a day! Three times on Saturday!” or “I will NOT buy shoes just because they are pretty” or “I will cut back on caffeine” – yeah, right…), we’ve picked out a few obtainable, reading- and writing-specific goals for the year.  Of course, we’d love to write thousands of beautiful words a day, complete nine brilliant manuscripts, and become bestsellers. Who wouldn’t? But that’s not why we started writing and why we continue to do so.  So without further ado, here are our resolutions for 2014.

Read unlikely books:

We’d both really love to tackle books that are in genres we’ve never explored. People seem to love Steam Punk, but neither one of us has ever read any. Graphic Novels are a yet unexplored wonderland for us. And we’re sure there are also some great cowboy-pirate-Amish themed romances out there. This year we’re vowing to step away from our favorite genres in search of a really great stories and new and exciting perspectives on story telling.  So send us a list of your favorite genre fiction titles.

Pay it forward:

The writing community is so supportive. Through twitter, contests, writing forums, and classes, we’ve met so many people who have helped us shape our queries, pages, and ideas. This year we’d love to help others with their work. With several years of public relations, marketing, and editing experience, we’ve got you covered. Help us help you and send us a query to critique. We’d love to return the good karma.

Diversify YA:

Over recent months, we’ve become more and more passionate about diversity. Why can’t the spunky Jewish girl be the romantic lead, and not the sidelined best friend? Why can’t the love interest be a person of color and have that as just one aspect of his personality? Betsy’s daughter goes to a Montessori school with kids of all ethnicities, religions, and backgrounds. We hate to think that a lot of these children may not be able to see themselves represented in fiction. We don’t blame anyone for the lack of diversity, in fact, we’ve seen a lot of agents and publishers requesting diverse stories and main characters. We’d love to help them out this year. Stay tuned for teasers about our almost-finished-work-in-progress. For more information on Diversity in YA, click here.

Step away from the book:

While we’re promising ourselves that we’ll venture out of our comfort zone, this year we also vow to put down books that make us want to throw them across the room, no matter how many awards they have won. Often, we find ourselves struggling to trudge through a book that was assigned to us by book clubs or well-meaning friends. But why waste time with something we already know isn’t our cup of tea, when there are so many other books in the world to be read? Reading taste is subjective and sometimes we just need to face the fact that we’re never going to love Grapes of Wrath, or Watership Down, no matter how brilliant they are. Bunnies? Really?